there's a certain set of individuals directly responsible for this and it's time we do something about it
When they first started dating, my best friend's boyfriend was like, "I just kinda feel like you two are uncomfortably close sometimes. All of my friends agree that it's really weird, and I think we need to establish some boundaries."
And I sat him down and gave him this huge speech, like, "Listen, the ability to maintain intimate, long-lasting friendships is a sign that your partner is well-adjusted! It's a little worrying that you're feeling insecure about your partner having a healthy, normal friendship."
Only for her to walk in two seconds later and say, "This drink is disgusting, you have to try it," and, instead of offering me a sip, take a huge swig and spit it directly into my mouth from like three feet away.
historicaltimes:
All of those people around him are demons
hey guys! here’s some fun things i learned from this article about Dion Diamond:
- he did these sit-ins by himself. like idk about you, but i always thought of sit-ins as organized by groups, what kind of bravery does it take, man
- he didn’t tell anyone about it, like he was no glory-seeker about this. his parents didn’t even know until reporters started calling them up like “hey, did you know your son is in jail?
- when someone called the cops he’d skedaddle out the back door although he was sent to prison multiple times
- the last time he got arrested was in Baton Rouge, and the cops were so sick of him that they told inmates they’d put in a good word for anyone who gave Diamond a hard time. (the inmates didn’t take the bait.)
- he’s still alive!
hark, a hero of our times!
BYE KSKDLAMDKDSM
I cannot tell you guys how much I’ve laughed at this yesterday, the comments on the willow mv are PRICELESS! 😂😂
For those of you wondering what the Swift rule is, every time Taylor releases an album, Corinthians (one of the big soccer teams in Brazil) doesn’t lose the previous and upcoming game. Like, never. And this weekend they were going to play the currently best team in Brazil, and regional rival. The other team was on a winning streak, but the swift rule is unbeatable.
But it doesn’t stop there!! People really believe taylor is some kind of patron saint of Corinthians, not only the Swift rule is definitely a thing, but Corinthians had never won a national championship while Taylor wasn’t born, first time was in 1990. And there is more, back in the day we still had playoffs for the main championship, and guess when was the final that crowned Corinthians champion? December 13th.
SOME GEMS ON THE WILLOW MV COMMENTS:
“saint george in heaven (patreon saint of Corinthians) and taylor swift on earth. go miss corinthiana”
“it was never luck it was always taylor swift. go corinthians!”
“I was always prejudiced to hear taylor songs but since she blessed Corinthias i have started to listen and they are good. thank you taylor. go corinthias”
"Taylor Swift is the patron saint of a Brazilian soccer team" is not something I expected to learn today
I could watch people cut gemstones for hours.
i'm thinking about how cats hold their babies and how so many mammals also hold their babies and also about how physical touch is a love language
but mostly i'm thinking of this:
in case nobody had guessed, i'm touchstarved.
also this!
i had this image in my head but i found it again <3
a hug is the universal expression of love!!!
This too:
hyperfixation sucks I think just a little too hard about a guy who isn't even real and I could start crying any second
like, you're telling me I'm just supposed to go to work tomorrow with the complete knowledge of all the things all the horrors these guys have gone through
Liquid cat
i hate it here
"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.
Humans have a really weird mix of mundane superpowers.
We're not fast and don't have a lot of natural weaponry but we're bizarrely tolerant to a broad range of toxins to the point that one toxin is considered a morning necessity for some to perform at work. Gotta love us.
I love fanfic authors. I read a fic once and the author said they had the friend who is a real nuclear physicist teach them all about this radioactive compound and how it reacts with different materials so that their fic could be accurate. It was smut.
an animal ate all of my boyfriend’s decorative cabbages and he’s reacting really okay and proportionally
weird Pinball
Op with all due respect this is literally the opposite of pinball
my favorite example of transferable skills in fiction regardless of how realistic it is are people who work with textiles (sewing, tailoring, etc.) being asked to help stitch a wound or perform surgery. oh you can mend a hole in a shirt? mend a hole in this guy then. it's basically the same thing just with more blood and screaming.
ALTcustomer: wow, these stitches are so neat! where did you learn how to do this?
former mafia boss who abandoned the life of crime after realizing one day that he had a talent and passion for sewing: don't worry about it
here's next weeks forecast, north america
we are in hell